At least he is if you look at this completely compelling photographic evidence:
He doesn’t even seem to have a top of a head, either. And his eyes are all out of whack.
This can’t be Jesus. It must be Jesus’ twin brother with fetal alcohol syndrome. But it’s probably Al Jourgensen from Ministry:
Does this mean that Al Jourgensen is Jesus’ brother with fetal alcohol syndrome? Or that Jesus really did build his hotrod? The questions never end.
Really though, if an all-powerful deity’s going to communicate with us through images on fruit, couldn’t it do better than an unconvincing outline? Couldn’t it use more than one color? Why pussyfoot around with these vaguely humanish face-like splotches in curtains and fruit? What, bringing someone back from the dead 2000 years ago was no problem, but now it can’t even seem to provide better evidence than could be made by some pimply-faced kid at Kinko’s? I’m just saying, if this God thing has been slacking off this badly, maybe you people should reconsider this whole worshipping it concept in the first place. It’s clearly losing its touch for miracles.