TB is no big deal

There’s this great website called Don’t Even Reply where this guy responds to Craigslist ads and publishes the subsequent conversations. Some of them are pretty funny. This one is a response to an ad from a woman who wants to give her kids shingles because she believes it will improve their immune system.

Also, it probably isn’t a big deal, but I figured it is worth mentioning that I also have pulmonary tuberculosis right now. I hope this won’t be a problem. It is probably better for your kids to get that out of the way too – it can be a real pain when you are older.

Of course she then says that she will just find someone else. He tries to sweeten the pot:

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you away with that. Pulmonary TB isn’t that bad, and it is best if your kids get it over with when they are younger. You may as well knock it out at the same time as the chicken pox.
If you want, I can throw in malaria for an extra $50. My friend Tom just got back from Africa and I can have him come over and give it to your kids as well. He got all sorts of whacky diseases when he was in Africa. You might want your kids to get them too, just so they won’t get them later if they ever visit Africa.

She then claims that malaria doesn’t work that way, and that it’s not just something you can get over. And so:

I think I know how TB works, I have it (duh).
I just assumed you were one of those mothers who wanted to have sick children to attract pity and attention from others. Malaria is a great way to get pity from other moms! You’ll be the most talked about mother in your neighborhood. You could brag about it to all the other mothers when they are going on about their sick kids – “*sigh* life is so hard with my husband at work, and my poor son has the flu.”
“Oh yeah? Well my two kids have fucking malaria. Suck it.”
You’ll be the envy of your whole clique of mothers.
Please reconsider my offer.


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