- Joshua Basso of Florida was out of cell phone minutes, so he did the logical thing and called 911 for phone sex.
- The city of Salinas, CA is trying counter-insurgency tactics against street gangs.
- Point: “I’m Jesus.” Counter-point: “OK, but you still need a license to drive a car.”
- Two Indianapolis robbers heat up a bottle of milk for a crying baby.
- Lester Henry of Burlington, KY, was arrested for masturbating at a public library’s computer. He was watching a wrestling video.
- Some crazy old lady (unnamed, unfortunately) in Port Huron, MI, threatened to shoot the staff of the local newspaper for criticizing a protest against health care reform. What, you can’t even compare health care to Nazism without being called names in the paper anymore?