There exists a group of reasonable, sensible people misguided folk psychopaths in Austria who believe that Santa Claus is a conspiracy by Coca-Cola to undermine Austrian Christmas traditions.
“What are these traditions?” You might ask yourself. Well, it’s totally different from Santa Claus, which promotes “gaudy commercialism.” Instead of Santa sneaking into the homes of families to leave his sweatshop-made presents overnight on Christmas Eve, the “Christmaskind (Christmas-child) Movement” favors a young blond child sneaking into the homes of families to leave presents overnight on Christmas Eve, which is totally not gaudy commercialism at all. It’s totally different! Well, no, not really – it’s pretty much the same, just more Aryan.
“It’s not against Santa. He is good for the British and Americans but he is not good for us,” said Walter Kriwetz, organiser of the candle-lit procession in Austria’s second city.
See, with Santa’s hair being white, you can’t tell much about his ethnicity. He might be one of them thar FOREIGNER JEW COCA COLA BANKERS BENT ON DESTROYING OUR GLORIOUS NATION AND ENSLAVING US ALL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!