Avatarded

From what I’d read of the reviews of Avatar I really don’t have much to add. The aesthetics are very cool and make it worth going to see on its own. I was worried at first because the first 3D preview they showed just used basically flat background/foreground “3D” instead of the spectrum of depth as it’s supposed to be.

But it wasn’t that at all for Avatar. In general, the 3D effects were more subtle and didn’t really rely on that “Holy shit, it’s coming right at us!” thing.

MY SKIN IS BLUE YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

What I don’t understand about this movie is this: If you’re going to spend years and years and hundreds of millions of dollars on a movie, why would you cut corners by writing such horrible lines? It was actually kind of embarassing to be sitting there watching them deliver some of them – like “I can see you” and stupid crap like that.

You know what it was like? It was like they didn’t even really write a script. Instead, they described the plot to a sarcastic guy and used his tongue-in-cheek notes as the script. That’s how corny it can get. And sitting there in the theater wondering if even a four year old could get swept up in the moment by the painfully stupid “HALLO, I ARE ONE OF YOU AND WE MUST FITE NAO!!11” speech, you kind of have to wonder if you’ve become one of those mildly retarded adults who read children’s books in order to be able to say that they’re “literate.”

The embarrassment of watching the plot unfold wasn’t even the worst part of the bad writing, though. The worst part of that was that you knew that there was not even a possibility of an unhappy ending. So you know for sure how this movie is going to end from the first few minutes. I’m not going to insist that every movie I see end up with all of the characters getting killed and cannibalized – at least, not anymore – but you really can’t have any suspense at all without there being at least a chance. That’s all I got for this. Go see it or don’t.

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2 Responses to “Avatarded”

  1. heavywall Says:

    the parts where it was night, and it got all black-light….where everything they touched responded…OMFG. craziest shit i’ve ever seen. there has never been anything like that. ever.

    the film could have been 30 minutes shorter and it would have been perfect for what it was. a fucking hippie movie.

    it was fun.

  2. Why religious people can’t ‘keep it to themselves’ « Atheist Hobos Says:

    […] There’s this recurring comment I keep hearing from people, mostly people who are primarily concerned with political issues who aren’t very well acquainted with religion. They’re not necessarily atheists, but not really believers either. A good word to describe them is apatheists. They really just don’t care about religion either way and they complain about Mormons knocking on their door and so on. “Why can’t they just keep their beliefs to themselves?” they ask. Here is just one recent example of this, a superficially reasonable response to the Vatican’s comments about Avatar. […]

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