War on Christmas Recap

It has been a good one this year. We’ve seen fights by crazy people, fights by sane people, some old faces, and some surprising new ones. In the end I think the forces of crazy will always triumph, at least within the media since being reasonable doesn’t have the same “news value” as being batshit insane does. Here is how it went down this year

War on Christmas 2009:

  1. Donald Wildmon pwns the Gap
  2. Nordstrom dares to wait until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Jesus
  3. Festive coalition of ninjas decorate house south of Chicago
  4. USPS enables children’s belief in Santa
  5. Best Buy’s blasphemous blow-out sale
  6. Arkansas Society of Freethinkers vs. Little Rock
  7. VII-X
  8. Fake Santa vs. Crying Children
  9. Austria purifies itself of inferior Coca Cola conspiracy
  10. Fake Elf vs. Mall (w/Venn diagram!)
  11. Obama vs. Charlie Brown
  12. Focus on the Family vs. Everyone
  13. Satanic Arsonists vs. Glory of Christ church
  14. Heretical CHRIST-mas Tree
  15. Three Wise Men vs. Loch Ness Monster
  16. Jesus shoots Santa with a shotgun
  17. Priest tells congregation to shoplift
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