Connecticut is our last line of defense against the alien invaders

A Connecticut man has been denied a firearm. It wasn’t because he looked like this:

And it also wasn’t because he “mentioned to the seller what he would be using the weapon for: warding off an alien invasion that occurs once every 36,000 years.” It was because he happened to be a convicted felon.

So basically anyone who’s not a convicted felon can buy a gun to ward off an alien invasion they think will happen soon according to some kind of cosmic schedule. Hasn’t Bill Pullman taught us that we need to deploy a computer virus to the mothership in order to have any real damaging effect on our possible extraterrestrial overlords?

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