O’Donnell weighs much more than a duck and is therefore not made of wood

I’m not buying all of this ‘Christine O’Donnell was a witch’ business. Yeah, I’ve seen the video footage of her talking about it on Politically Incorrect, and I don’t have any direct evidence contradicting her claim, but it all just doesn’t quite add up. So here’s my completely uninformed speculation.

First of all, Christians who focus a lot on being “born again” have this need for their own little spiritual rags-to-riches story. Listen to any former alcoholic or drug addict or whatever turned fundamentalist Christian for long enough and eventually you’ll hear a sob story about how they were once “at their lowest point ever” just before they heard the good news about the Jesus. Usually the low point has to do with sex, drugs, and that sort of thing, but O’Donnell’s going one step further by throwing witchcraft into the mix. It’s only by debasing their former selves can they show the great healing power of the Jesus. If you joined a church just because you were feeling a bit lonely and wanted a regular community activity, that’s not a very compelling narrative to sell to other potential converts.

There’s another advantage to O’Donnell lying about this witchcraft, if that’s what she did. As a professional Christianity advocate, which is what she was doing at the time of the video in question, it’s in her interest to appear as though she tried out other religions before discovering the one true faith. In the minds of her audience, it’s to her credit that she saw through the lies of her fellow witches or Wiccans or Satanists or whatever. Now she gets to say that she’s emerged wiser for having a diversity of experience with other religions.

So that’s pretty much what I think about why she lied, if that’s what she did. But there are some tips in the video itself, too. First of all, she interchanges Satanism and witchcraft. I don’t know much about Wicca or Satanism, but even I know that they’re very different. That’s why Wiccan leaders have been speaking out against how O’Donnell equated the two. Wiccans don’t believe in Satan, for instance. And even some Satanists, like the LaVeyian variety, don’t seem to believe in an actual Satan.

Another big tell is how she immediately followed up her “confession” by shouting about how she didn’t join a coven. In other words, nobody can verify her story. I wonder who this fellow who took her on the Satanic altar blood date was. He’s probably still around, right?

I’m not saying that she made this story up in 1999 in order to help boost her 2010 Senate campaign. That would be absurd. I’m saying that I think she made it up in order to self-promote as a professional advocate for Christianity knowing that her stories about what she dabbled in were difficult to confirm or falsify.

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