Hopefully this video will explain it all:
Posts Tagged ‘internet’
Xzibit v. MacGyver
Usually I post quotes I admire by people I admire. This is the exact opposite. But first I have to give a little context.
This guy called Mike Adams runs this pro-quackery website called Natural News. Mike was in some kind of Twitter contest, which is serious business. PZ Myers noticed that some quacks like Mike were in the lead in the health category and encouraged his horde of followers to pharyngulate the polls in favor of Dr. Rachael Dunlop from Australia.
Well, it turns out that the people running the Twitter contest found that Mike’s votes were from new accounts on Twitter, implying at the least that his voters had signed up for Twitter exclusively in order to vote for Mike, which is against the rules. A less generous interpretation would be that they’re just sock puppet accounts.
So Mike Adams lost his shit over this internet contest and made some really funny/pathetic attempts at analyzing the methods and perspectives of skeptics. He claimed to have researched, but doesn’t cite any sources. Orac had a good way to describe it – he is a “pyromaniac in a field of straw men.” PZ also responded, as did Steven Novella. Everyone’s having fun with this Adams character’s apparent mental breakdown. Good times for all.
Now Mike has a new response to the responses, which is even more hysterical (in more ways than one). And here’s where we get to the idiotic quote of the day:
“One such skeptic accused me of being a quack because he said that I believe “water is magical.” Was that supposed to be an insult? I do think water is magical!
I think pregnancy is magical. Human consciousness is magical. Plant life is magical. And water is at the very top of the list of magical substances with amazing, miraculous properties, many of which have yet to be discovered.”
The thing is that we have a pretty good idea of how pregnancy, human consciousness, plant life, and water work, and none of those things require any magic to be explained. And on the latter “point,” (and I’m using that term in the loosest possible sense) I wonder how Mike here knows that water has these “amazing miraculous properties” if, by his own admission and in his own words, those same properties are “yet to be discovered.”
The problem with hypothetical properties which have yet to be discovered is that they appear in exactly the same way as properties which don’t actually exist, regardless of how magical and miraculous they might or might not be. What a sad and miserable existence this Mike person must have to need to believe in magic to have any meaning in his life at all – which is obvious from reading the rest of his gibberish.
So here is the Christmas Truce letter describing an interesting event during WW I, interspersed with inappropriate videos and pictures. Enjoy.
“This will be the most memorable Christmas I’ve ever spent or likely to spend: since about tea time yesterday I don’t think theres been a shot fired on either side up to now. Last night turned a very clear frost moonlight night, so soon after dusk we had some decent fires going and had a few carols and songs. The Germans commenced by placing lights all along the edge of their trenches and coming over to us – wishing us a Happy Christmas etc. They also gave us a few songs etc. so we had quite a social party. Several of them can speak English very well so we had a few conversations. Some of our chaps went to over to their lines. I think theyve all come back bar one from ‘E’ Co. They no doubt kept him as a souvenir. In spite of our fires etc. it was terribly cold and a job to sleep between look out duties, which are two hours in every six.
First thing this morning it was very foggy. So we stood to arms a little longer than usual. A few of us that were lucky could go to Holy Communion early this morning. It was celebrated in a ruined farm about 500 yds behind us. I unfortunately couldnt go. There must be something in the spirit of Christmas as to day we are all on top of our trenches running about. Whereas other days we have to keep our heads well down. We had breakfast about 8.0 which went down alright especially some cocoa we made. We also had some of the post this morning. I had a parcel from B. G’s Lace Dept containing a sweater, smokes, under clothes etc. We also had a card from the Queen, which I am sending back to you to look after please. After breakfast we had a game of football at the back of our trenches! We’ve had a few Germans over to see us this morning. They also sent a party over to bury a sniper we shot in the week. He was about a 100 yds from our trench. A few of our fellows went out and helped to bury him.
About 10.30 we had a short church parade the morning service etc. held in the trench. How we did sing. –
‘O come all ye faithful. And While shepherds watched their flocks by night’ were the hymns we had. At present we are cooking our Christmas Dinner! so will finish this letter later.
Dinner is over! and well we enjoyed it. Our dinner party started off with fried bacon and dip-bread: followed by hot Xmas Pudding. I had a mascot in my piece. Next item on the menu was muscatels and almonds, oranges, bananas, chocolate etc followed by cocoa and smokes. You can guess we thought of the dinners at home.
Just before dinner I had the pleasure of shaking hands with several Germans: a party of them came 1/2way over to us so several of us went out to them. I exchanged one of my balaclavas for a hat. I’ve also got a button off one of their tunics. We also exchanged smokes etc. and had a decent chat. They say they won’t fire tomorrow if we don’t so I suppose we shall get a bit of a holiday – perhaps. After exchanging autographs and them wishing us a Happy New Year we departed and came back and had our dinner.
We can hardly believe that we’ve been firing at them for the last week or two – it all seems so strange. At present its freezing hard and everything is covered with ice…”.
Near the end of the letter the writer tells his mother, “As I can’t explain to everyone how I spent my 25th – you might hand this round please”.
The letter ends: “There are plenty of huge shell holes in front of our trenches, also pieces of shrapnel to be found. I never expected to shake hands with Germans between the firing lines on Christmas Day and I don’t suppose you thought of us doing so. So after a fashion we’ve enjoyed? our Christmas.
Hoping you spend a happy time also George Boy as well. How we thought of England during the day.
Kind regards to all the neighbours.
If you have any drugs, take them all and watch this. If you don’t go get some, then take them and watch this:
Even though this was very predictable, it’s still weird that Beck would have pursued this case at all. After all, he’s the one constantly screaming about how internationalism is evil and that “[o]nce we sign our rights over to international law, the Constitution is officially dead.”
Even that quote on its own doesn’t make sense since Article VI of the Constitution states in part:
This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.
So according to the Constituion, its own authority is equal to that of all treaties made by the US, i.e. they are both “supreme Law of the Land.” If only Beck had actually read the Constitution, he would be able to rant about those evil Marxist internationalist liberal elite framers of the Constitution who gave away American sovereignty!
So for one thing Beck’s a hypocrite for whining to the international courts about people making fun of him on the internet while pretending to think that the international courts are out to undermine the Constituion; but then he’s also wrong in even just claiming that the Constitution and the international courts are somehow at odds with each other.
And what’s even crazier is that a request by the counsel for the defense Marc Randazza was completely ignored. It asked that the proceedings against his client be carried out under US First Amendment law, which is something to which you might expect someone who actually preferred American law to international law to agree. Then again, this is a Mormon who believes that his savior Mohammed Jesus flew up into the sky after he died, visited America and then went to some other planet, so nothing should be too ridiculous coming from him.
What do you hear in this video?
It’s just not good enough to write about something crazy that happened anymore. The best kind of story to fit the “strange and unusual” news value is one where the weirdness sets off even more weirdness, and then the series of events in question morph into this mobius strip of insanity. Here is an example of what I’m talking about. And here is a summary of how craziness feeds on itself in this situation:
- In 2007, the government of Thailand passed something called the Computer Crimes Act, Article 14 of which allows for state prosecution of criminal libel in response to youtube insults directed at the Thai king.
- The economy collapsed.
- Obviously, the economic collapsed was caused by the king of Thailand’s failing health.
- Three “internet users” put two and two together and publicize their particular brand of craziness.
- The paranoid Thai government imprisons them for endangering national security by lying about the king’s health.
The king of Thailand’s name is Bhumibol Adulyadej, but you can just call him a thin skinned freak with an unwarranted and massive ego Phra Bat Somdet Phra Poramintharamaha Bhumibol Adulyadej Mahitalathibet Ramathibodi Chakkrinaruebodin Sayamminthrathirat Borommanatbophit. Really, that’s his official title.
Here are two great variations on this drunk guy trying to buy beer at a convenience store meme. First we have the silent film version:
And here’s it’s incorporated with an MC Trebek Mash-up:
UPDATE: After almost a full day of mockery, the GOP has decided to change the name of Michael Steele’s blog. That is “wack!”
So I started my day today like most – by going to the official Republican Party website to see who I was supposed to shake my fist at today. Instead I learned that I now have competition for the most amazing name for a blog ever:
“What up? By Michael Steele is where you can find out what the Chairman thinks”
I was under the impression that Republicans wanted to keep what their Chairman was thinking as private as possible. He’s like that guy at a party who’s trying way too hard to really fit in; which is incredibly uncomfortable if you’re the one he’s leaning on, but is hilarious to everyone else.
His first and only post so far is called “Let me ask you,” which concludes with this:
“Now that you will have much better access to them, what can each of our Division Leaders do in that network to help you?”
So the Chairman is asking how the Leaders can help you. I am sure there are many creative answers to this question.