Posts Tagged ‘pareidolia’

REPOST: Martian Jesus

January 13, 2011

A recently released picture of the Martian surface has ignited some controversy in the most widely circulated newspaper in the UK (“Has Jesus Christ Been Spotted On Mars?”). The question mark in the headline apparently means they’re not quite sure if there was an alteration of the Martian surface in order to make it sort of kind of look like Jesus:

Jesus had 3 visible boobs.

Jesus had 3 visible boobs.

Some possible explanations:

  1. After his resurrection, Jesus flew around the solar system to preach at organisms on other worlds. He couldn’t find any, so he decided to make a self-portrait on the surface of the planet to which humans would probably first travel. It was too much work, and Jesus gave up after a few years.
  2. Jesus was really a giant Martian buried underground, and when he punched his way out of his burial-place (like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2), he left behind an outline of a vaguely human-ish figure on the Martian surface.
  3. Intelligent life on Mars which has since gone extinct heard about Jesus on Earth by being very quiet and listening in on the Middle East region 2000 years ago and then just decided to alter the surface of their planet to make it look kind of like a human, just for the fuck of it.
  4. Mars is a big planet on which erosion happens. There are no oceans on the surface, so that leaves a lot of possibilities for geological features which might kind of sort of look like a human. Since we’ve evolved in a way to recognize faces, it is not surprising that we would sometimes mistakenly perceive a face. There’s even a name for this phenomenon.

I wonder which is the most likely.

If it really were a face, then it should look that way from all angles. For example, here is a rotated picture of a human face which is still easy to identify as a human face:


Even though this is not how we normally see other humans, it is still easily recognizable as a face. And here’s a rotated shot of the same photo of the Martian surface:

Unless you’re already looking for Jesus here, you won’t see it. You have to want to see it. That should have given pause to whichever Daily Telegraph editor OK’d this story. On the other hand, ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue…

Hungarian Jesus

April 25, 2010

So Jesus is still making the paredolia rounds. To briefly recap, lately we’ve seen Jesus in a frying pan, a ceiling, a toiletIndian food, a moth, a cloudnaan bread, a hospital, a coconutcat’s furgum, a barbecue cover, a banana, a curtain, and the surface of Mars. Now he’s showing up on Google Earth which proves that Google really is supernatural. Here’s a screen shot:

That settles it. Jesus is Hungarian and owned by Google.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Did 9/11

February 11, 2010

I’m starting my own 9/11 conspiracy theory.

It all started when I just read about new aerial pictures NIST released of the terrorist attacks. Here is one of them:

Now, look a little closer and you can see some pareidolia:

Now who does that remind you of? Maybe another known attacker of New York City?

I believe that settles it. We must deploy the Ghostbusters to the Afghanistan/Pakistan border immediately.

Where is your pot of gold?

January 18, 2010

Here is some interactive Jesus pareidolia.

More Jesus pareidolia

January 12, 2010

Jesus is appearing on naan bread now. I’m very excited about this because there is a bit more detail in this one than in this one or this one and definitely more than this one.

But it still looks more like Al Jourgensen than whatever Jesus might have looked like. Observe:

I am seeing a pattern here. As the level of detail of the object of religious pareidolia increases, resemblance to Al Jourgensen approaches, but never quite reaches, 1. For example here you can actually see stubble in Jesus. And as usual, one of the eyes is all fucked up, but you can at least see a full facial outline without any missing splotches.

Jesus is balding

December 26, 2009

At least he is if you look at this completely compelling photographic evidence:

He doesn’t even seem to have a top of a head, either. And his eyes are all out of whack.

This can’t be Jesus. It must be Jesus’ twin brother with fetal alcohol syndrome. But it’s probably Al Jourgensen from Ministry:

Does this mean that Al Jourgensen is Jesus’ brother with fetal alcohol syndrome? Or that Jesus really did build his hotrod? The questions never end.

Really though, if an all-powerful deity’s going to communicate with us through images on fruit, couldn’t it do better than an unconvincing outline? Couldn’t it use more than one color? Why pussyfoot around with these vaguely humanish face-like splotches in curtains and fruit? What, bringing someone back from the dead 2000 years ago was no problem, but now it can’t even seem to provide better evidence than could be made by some pimply-faced kid at Kinko’s? I’m just saying, if this God thing has been slacking off this badly, maybe you people should reconsider this whole worshipping it concept in the first place. It’s clearly losing its touch for miracles.

What do you see?

October 8, 2009

Here:

And here:

Do you still not see it? Really? It’s right there, plain as day! Maybe if it’s outlined, that will help:

You still don’t see it?

Yeah, me neither.

This is supposed to be another one of Jesus’ wacky tricks. First he was carving himself onto the Martian surface, and now he’s appearing in a Bishopville, SC preacher’s curtains. That Jesus, always messing with us in ways that just happen to look exactly like crazy people acting crazily.

“Something told me to look in the kitchen and I sat and I looked in the kitchen. I looked at the window, and that’s when I see this image focused on my curtain.”

-Barbara Brame, deranged minister

“Something” told her to look into the kitchen? Maybe it was… SATAN! Well, why not?

See, usually when people say that they hear voices telling them to do something and they see patterns where none exist, we call that schizophrenia. But all you have to do is throw Jesus or Mohammed in there somewhere, and suddenly you go from being a mental institution’s newest inpatient to being soft “news.” Brame will continue to be a pillar of the community there in Bishopville.

Martian Jesus

September 4, 2009

A recently released picture of the Martian surface has ignited some controversy in the most widely circulated newspaper in the UK (“Has Jesus Christ Been Spotted On Mars?”). The question mark in the headline apparently means they’re not quite sure if there was an alteration of the Martian surface in order to make it sort of kind of look like Jesus:

Jesus had 3 visible boobs.

Jesus had 3 visible boobs.

Some possible explanations:

  1. After his resurrection, Jesus flew around the solar system to preach at organisms on other worlds. He couldn’t find any, so he decided to make a self-portrait on the surface of the planet to which humans would probably first travel. It was too much work, and Jesus gave up after a few years.
  2. Jesus was really a giant Martian buried underground, and when he punched his way out of his burial-place (like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2), he left behind an outline of a vaguely human-ish figure on the Martian surface.
  3. Intelligent life on Mars which has since gone extinct heard about Jesus on Earth by being very quiet and listening in on the Middle East region 2000 years ago and then just decided to alter the surface of their planet to make it look kind of like a human, just for the fuck of it.
  4. Mars is a big planet on which erosion happens. There are no oceans on the surface, so that leaves a lot of possibilities for geological features which might kind of sort of look like a human. Since we’ve evolved in a way to recognize faces, it is not surprising that we would sometimes mistakenly perceive a face. There’s even a name for this phenomenon.

I wonder which is the most likely.

If it really were a face, then it should look that way from all angles. For example, here is a rotated picture of a human face which is still easy to identify as a human face:


Even though this is not how we normally see other humans, it is still easily recognizable as a face. And here’s a rotated shot of the same photo of the Martian surface:

Unless you’re already looking for Jesus here, you won’t see it. You have to want to see it. That should have given pause to whichever Daily Telegraph editor OK’d this story. On the other hand, ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue ad revenue…