Posts Tagged ‘Pope’

Jews and Freemasons force Catholic priests to rape kids

April 14, 2010

I’ve really got to make a big caveat here because the original source I’m getting this from is in Italian. Since I don’t speak it, and haven’t even needed to speak Spanish since 2001, I’m at the mercy of Google Translate. So it’s possible that, like most things I say, all of this is completely wrong. The difference here is that it wouldn’t be entirely my own fault. So there.

There’s this retired bishop named Giacomo Babini who decided to speak out against all this hoopla over priests raping kids and whatnot. Babini is even more old-school than the standard Catholic kid-rape apologist, deviating from the “It’s all teh ghey’s fault” line in favor of a conspiracy theory defense about the Jews and the Freemasons:

Last week, retired Bishop Giacomo Babini of the Italian town of Grosseto told the Catholic Pontifex website that the Catholic pedophile scandal is being orchestrated by the “eternal enemies of Catholicism, namely the freemasons and the Jews, whose mutual entanglements are not always easy to see through… I think that it is primarily a Zionist attack, in view of its power and refinement. They do not want the church, they are its natural enemies. Deep down, historically speaking, the Jews are God-killers.”

Jews can kill gods? And that’s a matter of history? Really?

Oh, but wait – he’s not done yet:

“The Holocaust was a shame for all of humanity,” the good bishop told the world, “but now we have to look at it without rhetoric and with open eyes. Don’t believe that Hitler was merely crazy. The truth is that the Nazis’ criminal fury was provoked by the Jews’ economic embezzlement, by which they choked the German economy.”

Wow. Didn’t this start off being about kid-rape? How did it veer so quickly into conspiracy theories about Jews and Freemasons and Nazis in the 1930s? I wish I could just start rambling made up bullshit about history whenever I’m accused of a crime.

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A “panda”

April 10, 2010

From the Times of Malta:

And speaking of the Pope, some people are planning on arresting him when he is supposed to visit England.

Religion news for January 1

January 1, 2010

There are a couple of updates in ongoing fits of religious craziness today.

Ireland’s anti-blasphemy law goes into effect today, and Atheist Ireland has responded by publishing 25 blasphemous quotes. There are a lot of quotes from people you might expect – Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, PZ Myers, George Carlin, Mark Twain – and then a few surprises, like Jesus, Mohammed, Bjork, the current Pope, and Dermot Ahern, the Irish Minister for Justice who actually introduced the anti-blasphemy legislation.

It could be that it will actually take riots like the ones over the Jyllands-Posten comics in order for this law to be used. That way the extremists who freak out over being criticized take no responsibility for their actions, and the critics alone are responsible for how someone else reacts to their criticism. That would be a bit like charging a woman who left her husband for another man with murder if her husband were to kill her new lover.

On the other hand, it could simply be that Atheist Ireland and anyone else who blasphemes at all in Ireland will be charged a $25,000 fine. And remember, that’s $25,000 per offense. Maybe some rich guy in the area can bail out PZ when he gets there next month.

On a lighter note, Taner Edis at the Secular Outpost points out that the fanatical cartoonist Jack Chick (the subject of a recent documentary) has released two new and hilarious “Chick Tracts” today. I like this one best, it’s about how them thar Injuns use their devil-magic on good Christians:

You see, Crazy Wolf the Pagan uses witchcraft on Mary the Christian in an attempt to kill her for trying to spread Christianity because that totally still happens nowadays. And in retaliation, Mary the Christian uses witchcraft on Crazy Wolf the Pagan to convert him to Christianity. One kind of witchcraft just works better, apparently. It’s like the “Chick Tract” of laundry detergent commercials. In other words, Chick seems to really believe that magic actually works – it’s just that the pagan magic is really a deception by Satan or something.

Here is the other one, which is not quite as amusing:

This is just another one of those “OMG THE POEP IS TEH ANTIKRIST111” ones. It’s pretty funny because Chick’s brand of Christianity only goes back just over a century, while the Catholics can trace their history back to Peter. And yet it’s the Catholics who have ‘fallen away,’ as they say.

God and the weather

September 22, 2009

About a year and a half ago, Georgia’s governor organized a prayer. For rain.

Now, Georgia is being flooded. At least seven people have died as a result.

So is the Governor going to say that the flood is a result of their prayers? If not, then their prayers were ineffective.

Or will he say that  this flood is God’s response to the prayers? If so, then that makes God look like a bit of a dick. Like a slumlord, God ignores requests to fix something, then when it finally gets off its ass and does something, it screws it up badly. Maybe this God thing needs a subcontractor to take care of this kind of stuff. Isn’t that what angels were for? This analogy is getting weird.

This gives me an excuse to bring up this awesome story from about a month ago. Back in the 17th century, a Swiss town started praying to get rid of a glacier near them. They were sick of it. The glacier was bullshit. So now that the Catholic Church is pretending to care about the environment, this town is asking for a papal sanction to reverse their prayer request.

In other words, from their perspective, God waited a couple centuries until the Industrial Revolution to start to melt the glacier, cleverly making it look like it was a result of natural processes, and then overdid it. And now they need a request for God to cease and desist to be rubber-stamped by a bureaucracy in the Vatican and everything will be just fine.

Makes perfect sense.

Joey Ratz on atheists and the environment

September 8, 2009

From teh Poep:

Is it not true that inconsiderate use of creation begins where God is marginalized or also where his existence is denied? If the human creature’s relationship with the Creator weakens, matter is reduced to egoistic possession, man becomes the “final authority,” and the objective of existence is reduced to a feverish race to possess the most possible.

President of the UK National Secular Society Terry Sanderson responds:

This is rich, coming from the leader of an organization that has plundered the world to enrich itself. As he sits in his golden palaces, surrounded by unimaginable luxury and material wealth, he lectures the rest of us about restraint and greed. We have nothing to learn about environmentalism from this hypocrite.