Hi. My name is Josh and I am in the snake oil business.
You can email me by clicking on the nanobot above. You can also get in touch with me by going into your bathroom, turning off the lights, lighting at least seven candles, staring into the mirror, and saying my name three times.
As a matter of fact, I am standing behind you right now, watching you read this. Do you feel that? It's a knife, pressed up against your back. Now gimme all your money or I'll cut ya.