Posts Tagged ‘witch hunts’

Killing for God in Haiti

December 8, 2010

There’s been a cholera outbreak in the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake (which I predicted using my psychic powers).

According to the source of all knowledge:

“[Cholera t]ransmission is primarily through consuming contaminated drinking water or food… Primary treatment is with oral rehydration solution and if these are not tolerated, intravenous fluids. Antibiotics are beneficial in those with severe disease.”

But according to some rural Haitians, cholera is transmitted primarily through witchcraft, and primary treatment is performed by killing practitioners of witchcraft. Violent witch hunts originating in the Grand Anse region of Haiti have resulted in the murder of at least 12 people so far. But on the other hand, cholera has killed nearly 1,900 so far, so the armed hordes have a bit of catching up to do in order to be quite as evil as the cholera itself. From the Atlanta Journal-Constitiution:

Machete-wielding mobs have since lynched and killed a dozen people accused of practicing such witchcraft, burning the bodies of their victims, national police spokesman Frantz Lerebours said.

The Haitian government is on the side of sanity here:

In response to the killings, the government in Port-au-Prince issued a statement Thursday imploring: “Cholera is a microbe … The only way to protect one’s self against cholera is to observe the principles of hygiene.”
“There is no cholera powder, nor cholera zombie, nor cholera spirit” and Vodou priests “can neither treat cholera, nor make a powder that gives cholera,” it said.

That should clear things up, right?


Ugandan newspaper lists their 100 most fabulous gays

October 21, 2010

A Ugandan newspaper called Rolling Stone (no relation to the real, i.e. American, one) published a front-page article listing the 100 most fabulous gays in the country. There’s an unfortunate typo where it says “HANG THEM,” when obviously it meant to suggest that the reader hang with them. That’s why they print the address of the “top homos,” so people can go and hang out with them if they want.

You might remember Uganda as the country which was considering criminalizing homosexuality with capital punishment in some cases, possibly based on interaction with US politicians. So now it’s nice that they’ve put that behind them and are starting to embrace their teh gheys.

What’s not so clear is how the esteemed publication researched the matter insofar as they quantify being a “top homo.” The immediate implication is that they’re referring to those who prefer to “pitch” instead of “catch,” but I’m guessing that’s probably 50% of all teh ghey in Uganda and there’s got to be more than 200 of them in the country.

So they must mean something else by “top homos.” It must be that these guys are really good at it or something, I guess. That must mean the reporters did a lot of research (buttsecks!) in order to compile their list. It’s a good thing that the anti-homosexuality bill isn’t law yet, or else all of their research could be punishable by death.